|
Nica Update: Marital Diagnostic Testing
Dear Family and Friends,
Eric (not his real name) was one of the first boys that Will called "a true friend". Eric was a missionary kid who had lived in Nicaragua his whole life. Will and Eric spent a lot of time talking about "deep" things and enjoyed many of the same activities. Then, one day this past October, we learned that Eric, his siblings, and his Mom would be leaving Nicaragua in a matter of days to live in the States. A few months later, Eric's parents got a divorce.
This event has deeply touched all of us. Will said the other night that he wished he could have gotten in a time machine, gone back in time, and warned them that this would happen so that maybe it could have been prevented.
We cannot turn back time. But, we can respond by joining God in something we believe He is calling us to do to support the marriages of missionaries here in Nicaragua. We are planning a marriage conference with the assistance of another couple. The conference will take place on February 10 and 11. It is a video conference which is a new event that FamilyLife has developed called "The Art of Marriage". Over the past few months, we have been watching the video sessions and we are impressed with the dynamic and engaging format of this video conference. It was designed to empower rural communities to offer the FamilyLife marriage conference on a smaller scale in a church or in small groups. This format is also perfect for the foreign mission field.
Our target audience is missionary couples. We currently have between 25 and 30 couples registered for the conference. One woman wrote to us by email last night saying, "You have no idea how grateful I am that you are willing to host this marriage conference."
There has probably been nothing harder on our own marriage than moving to the foreign mission field. And there has been nothing that has been better for it. Other couples have said the same thing to us. Our sin is so much more magnified and so much easier to see living here (both our own and each other's) because we live our lives with a higher degree of vulnerability – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. The great thing about our sin being magnified is that we can see it and we become more aware how it impacts others. And when we can see something, we can then do something about it. So, living "exposed" and "vulnerable" and "less secure" is a challenge, but it is also an opportunity.
Below is something I wrote and then read at our international church with the prayer that missionary couples would recognize how the marriage conference will be both a challenge and an opportunity. We share it with you with the same prayer - that you would consider attending a FamilyLife marriage conference in your area. For information on dates and locations of FamilyLife conferences, you can go to www.familylife.com and click on "Weekend to Remember" or "Art of Marriage".
The past few weeks I (Lisa) have been thinking about the marriage conference that Dan and I have been advertising and how the nature of it relates closely to something that happened to my Dad a few years ago.
It was a few months before we arrived here in Nicaragua and my Dad needed to go in for a doctor's appointment. He had been having troubles with high blood pressure and his legs would get weak sometimes. But, just months prior to this appt., he had built a building all by himself that was large enough to house his tractor and a wood working shop. So, he actually appeared quite healthy.
However, after running a diagnostic test on my Dad, the doctor told him to go to the hospital to get another test done. This diagnostic test, called an angioplasty, indicated that he had 3 blockages in his heart requiring a triple bypass. After more diagnostic tests, my parents learned that Dad's left kidney had died, his right kidney was significantly blocked, and he was diagnosed with diabetes. A few days later, he had open heart surgery.
Open heart surgery means cutting the sternum down the middle, pulling it back like french doors to expose the heart, and then wiring it back together. I remember seeing my Dad in ICU hooked up to many tubes and monitors. It was a painful process for him to go through and his recovery took time. However, he is now enjoying a quality of life that he would never had enjoyed had he not learned - as a result of a diagnostic test - that something needed to be corrected.
A marriage conference can be compared to a diagnostic test that is performed on a heart. Only, not in a physical sense like my Dad, but in a spiritual sense. Dan and I have felt like we need to go in for a diagnostic test on our marriage each year in the form of a conference or group because for one, we don't have a perfect marriage. We need an annual reminder of who God calls us to be as husband and wife. And two, our marriage is always changing and developing and transitioning - just as we are individually. So, it is kind of like taking a fresh look at a different marriage each year.
And the diagnostic testing of marriage conferences or groups helps us to see areas of our hearts that are weak or sick or hard.
It's not easy to go in for the test, because sometimes the diagnostic test of a marriage conference indicates that we need heart surgery. And just like physical heart surgery – in order for the Great Physician to do His work - the heart needs to be exposed. It seems that it is only when our hearts are vulnerable and open and exposed that God can do His best surgical work.
And often, His best surgical tool is our spouse.
It can be painful for us when God uses our spouse to heal us. But, there is a quality of life on the other side of the pain and recovery that we just might miss if we don't go in for the diagnostic test.
So, what we were wondering . . . is if you would be open to calling the Great Physician this week and just ask Him, "Do you think I need, we need, diagnostic testing?"
Thank you once again for spending a few minutes reading this update. We continue to be so amazed and honored by your prayers, your faithful and generous financial support, and your interest in this journey.
Please pray for:
1) Eric and his family - for comfort, healing, and an understanding of God's love for each of them as they walk this journey.
For the marriage conference leading up to and on Feb. 10 and 11:
1) For the marriages of the missionary couples who attend to be strengthened.
2) For God to empower Dan and I to facilitate it well (once again depending on His strength in our weakness, as neither of us are naturally confident "being on stage").
Thank you so very much!
Peace to you,
Dan, Lisa, Rebekah, and Will Van Zoest |
